VIEW LEADERBOARD

Revenge is Necessary - Prologue

Revenge is Necessary - Prologue

The prologue sets the scene for the killings to come. Everyone attending the party are going to either be murdered or greiving for a lost love.

1

Crime / Suspense / Mystery / Thriller


author-small

G. Rosalyn West (United Kingdom)


Prologue

Sunday 24th December 2000.

Lady Penelope Kingsward strolled slowly around the beautifully laid dining table, straightening the odd knife and repositioning a crystal glass or two. She did this out of a misplaced need to be in charge – the decorated table was perfect as always.
The three members of her household staff stood ramrod straight only their eyes flickering towards the lady of the house, hoping their efforts had passed muster.
As Lady Penelope finished her meanderings her butler, Charles, walked towards her and waited for her approval.
“It will do Charles. Now remember, only two glasses of champagne before dinner and use the wine that was delivered earlier today NOT the wine from the cellar.”
“Yes ma’am.” he replied in his usual reverent manner. He knew tonight’s guests had been invited more as an obligation than a pleasure. It was Sir Arthur’s company Board members and selected guests attending, not friends or those needed to be impressed.
“The guests will be arriving at seven o’clock Charles, you can show them into the library, we’ll have drinks in there before dinner. I shall be in my room if you need me.” With her nose in the air Lady Penelope gathered herself to her not inconsiderable height, and strode out of the room like a Spanish galleon in full sail.
The staff all breathed a huge sigh of relief as Charles ushered them back to the kitchen. He stood re-polishing the glasses his employer had deemed necessary to touch, thinking as he always did – why on earth did he remain in her employ.

Edward Carson stood in the hallway of their modest London flat allowing his wife, Angelica, to straighten his bow tie. He looked at her adoringly, wondering what he’d done to be so lucky to have her in his life. Her approval was everything to him. He needed it as much as the air he breathed.
“How do I look? Do I look like the soon to be newest and youngest member of the Board of Directors for Excelsior Trust Limited?” Angelica smiled up at him her blond wavy hair bouncing around her shoulders,
“You are far too handsome to hold such a stuffy position, although I’m sure we’ll be able to make use of the obscene salary that comes with it.”
He leant forward and kissed her on the tip of her nose,
“I’m going to surround you with every luxury known to man so that everyone we meet will see just how much I love you.”
“I can live with that. Does this mean that I can stop chasing every lucrative contract on offer and we can get down to the most important – and pleasurable – task of starting a family?”
“It certainly does, and if you don’t stop fondling me like that we might start now.” Angelica pressed her hands firmly on his chest, gently pushing him away. “Now let me think. Lavish company dinner or sex?”
Edward laughed and grabbing her hand pulled her out of the door towards their car.
“Wait until the contracts are signed. Isn’t that what you always say?”

Caroline Dexter stood impatiently by the front door of their Victorian semi, tapping her long red nails on the shelf. She glanced at her Rolex, a birthday present to herself, swearing under her breath,
“Are you ready yet Trevor? We are going to be late!”
Silence from above. “If you don’t make an appearance soon I’m leaving without you and you can get yourself a Chinese takeaway.”
Caroline’s gaze caught a glimpse of the baby-sitter poking her head around the lounge door, “Is everything okay Mrs Dexter?”
Impudent little bitch. “Everything is fine, Grace, Mr Dexter always takes his time getting ready.” Caroline smiled sweetly as the young sixth former wandered back to her studying. Trevor Dexter took that moment to stroll down the stairs as if he had all the time in the world, the smirk on his face telling her he was acting up on purpose. He flung back his wavy brown hair as he flashed a brilliant smile at the baby-sitter.
“I told you I didn’t want to go to this bloody dinner. Why make me go? It’s not as if I can provide any scintillating conversation is it? Who wants to know what a house-husband gets up to while his significant other half is earning the big bucks.”
“Cut out the ‘oh woe is me’ act. At least you don’t have to cook dinner tonight do you? And you can drink some good wine for a change instead of that gut rot you buy at the supermarket.”
Trevor held out his arms and looking down at his only decent suit said, “Do I look as if I’m not going? I told you I would, I just don’t like being hassled that’s all.”
Caroline ignored his sarcasm and turned to open the front door, flinging the car keys at him, “You can drive there because I know for certain that you won’t be in any fit state to drive us back.”
For the second time that evening, Caroline wished her husband gone for good. With him out of the way she would be able to live her own life with the one person she truly loved, whilst sending the children to boarding school – out of the way.

Nigel Kingsward pulled his shiny black Mercedes sports car into the car park behind the apartment building where he was to meet his date for the evening. A flash of headlights from the corner of the car park told him she had beaten him to it. He answered her with a double flash and watched as she glided out of her own car and walked towards his. Just watching her saunter over to him made his lower regions tingle with excitement. Her long white cashmere coat wafted gently in the breeze to reveal a thigh high sparkly evening dress that revealed legs taller than him. He had read her resumé the day before to discover that she was indeed taller than him, and with six inch heels to add to it, he would end up looking like a dwarf. But he didn’t care. She was going to be the best looking woman in the room – guaranteed.
The added bonus being, his uncle would know where she came from and he may even have met her before. The added excitement that she may drop a hint or two to his aunt about her profession, would make the evening all the more delightful.
“I’m glad to see that some men can be on time at least once in their lives.”
“Who wouldn’t want to be on time for you, my dear. You are indeed breathtakingly beautiful and your profile doesn’t do you justice.”
Ingrid a.k.a Agnes put on her best sexy smile and purred at him. Little did he know it was his surname that convinced her to accept his invitation. Kingsward – a surname she knew only too well and she was looking forward to seeing her favourite client in his home surroundings. What an uproar she could cause – if she wanted to.

Denis Kenilworth looked lovingly at his older sister, Wendy.
“You look lovely my dear. That colour dress really suits you; brings out the colour of your eyes.” He smiled warmly knowing how delicate her state of mind could become unbalanced if he wasn’t careful with his words. “Will you be ready very soon because we don’t want to be caught up in traffic, do we?”
Wendy’s left hand went up to her hair and absentmindedly patted it, unaccustomed to the compliment being paid to her. Her normal attire was a pleated skirt with a knitted twin-set and flat comfortable shoes – usually brown. Her brother Denis, had taken the trouble to purchase a lovely blue dress for her with a matching jacket and pale cream shoes with a wedge heel that was not too high. She had never been any good at shopping for clothes – never going anywhere she didn’t see the point.
Denis walked over to her holding up a lovely string of pearls, “Look what I found in the dressing table upstairs.”
Wendy gasped in surprise, “That’s mother’s pearl necklace! Surely I shouldn’t be wearing that?” Denis laughed,
“Well, it would look very silly on me wouldn’t it now. Come along, my dear, mother would be very happy to see you wearing it. She loved to dress you up when she was with us, didn’t she?” Wendy nodded and turned around so that he could place the pearls around her neck and fasten them securely.
Denis hoped that this evening wouldn’t be too tiring for his sister. He had looked after her ever since their mother had died. He had never been able to find a woman who would put up with him and his sister, so he had made the decision many years ago that it would always be just the two of them


Competition: Friendly feedback, Round 1

SEE MORE LIKE THIS



Read Reviews

Review 1:


Compelling hook?

Fresh?

Strong characters?

Entertaining?

Attention to mechanics
  • You demonstrate a professional quality of writing throughout the story.
Narration and dialogue: Balance
  • Your story struck a good balance between narration and authentic dialogue.
Atmosphere and description
  • A writer’s ability to create mood and atmosphere through evocative description is vital to the reader’s experience. It’s a real skill to craft out how the characters react to the setting and atmosphere and perhaps your story could go further in its description. The reader wants to experience the same sensory and poignant journey as the characters.
General comments from your fellow writer 1:
It s really good but to me a bit boring. If I were to read the story during class it would be fine but on my own time never.

Review 2:


Compelling hook?

Fresh?

Strong characters?

Entertaining?

Narration and dialogue: Balance
  • Your story struck a good balance between narration and authentic dialogue.
Technique and tight writing
  • When writing is tight, economical and each word has purpose, it enables the plot to unravel clearly. Try and make each individual word count.
Style and originality
  • Creating a unique writing style while maintaining quality of prose is tricky. As writers, we face the daunting task of making sure we are not being predictable. Can you find a way to give the content and characters more of a unique edge? Perhaps say something boldly, something fresh or show an unorthodox approach to a topic?
General comments from your fellow writer 2:
I quite enjoyed this.The introduction of the many different characters was fun and well done. I'm wondering if this is going to turn into a Cluedo game? If so, I wouldn't mind. The tone was light and the pace fast enough. However, the text would really benefit from a good rewrite, to eliminate the following problems. (Some examples below). I hope this helps, good luck! Too many adverbs throughout the text: Lady Penelope Kingsward strolled slowly around the beautifully laid dining table, How about: Lady Penelope Kingsward strolled around the beautifully laid dining table, Tighten With her nose in the air Lady Penelope gathered herself to her not inconsiderable height It's a bit convoluted, but I liked the image of the Spanish galleon With him out of the way she would be able to live her own life with the one person she truly loved, whilst sending the children to boarding school – out of the way. You could cut out "out of the way". The reader understands she wants the children out of the way, because of the boarding school. Avoid repetitions (watched/watching, reveal/revealed) watching her saunter over to him made his lower regions tingle with excitement. Her long white cashmere coat wafted gently in the breeze to reveal a thigh high sparkly evening dress that revealed